The Weekly Claw 12-16-08

I’ve got to apologize for the length of this week’s column. I didn’t cross over into the “dang, I’ve got a lot of material” zone until too late to make a proper special Saturday edition. That being said, buckle up for a bumpy ride!

The spoiled brats of the left are rampaging through Europe because they aren’t being given an easy life though socialism. This is what happens when Marxism/socialism takes root in a generation…and The Chosen One wants that for America?

Blogger Third Eye has this quality piece on the history of the US auto industry, and what the heck happened to it. A bit long, but well worth your time.

If you didn’t already have enough evidence that unions in the US are outta control, we get this bit of insanity from the NFL Players Union. How can they defend that idiot from the team’s quite sensible actions? Oh, and why in the world do a bunch of people whose MINIMUM salary is over $250K, and whose AVERAGE salary is well over $1 million, need a friggin’ union?

Here we go with another Glo-Bull Warming update. This one comes from southern Californication and involves another lack of warmth. When can we start prepping lawsuits for fraud against the Prophet Algoracle?

There is more evidence that the parties for Obama’s victory were well-supplied. Looks like its harpoon time again.

The Governor Blogo scandal is making me smile. The wiretaps show him to be furious over the fact that the Office of the President Elect only offered him “appreciation” in exchange for naming their top choice to the Senate seat vacated by Obama. How could he know what they were offering if, as The Big O proclaimed, neither he nor his staff have had any contact with Blogo and his people on the issue? Looks like someone is lying!

Here is one for the “Now this REALLY IS the holiday spirit” files. I always tear up with scenes like this one (once you get past the Tide commercial). Yes, The Crawfish is a big ol’ softy. Welcome Home Corpsman!

Ya really gotta love the “debate” over man-made Glo-Bull Warming. One UN group claims that they have proved that it is real, but they complain that the critics want real proof, which they have none of. Meanwhile, a US Senate committee’s minority report that includes testimony and documentation from over 650 actual SCIENTISTS states that it is false. The Senate report includes many links, so my readers are asked only to delve into it when they have some quality time, and a tall glass of adult beverage, but it is worth it. Of course, we’ll never be rid of factually challenged “scare the public” stories from liberal news organizations until we capitulate to the frauds and the UN (but I repeat myself).

Would the Democrats play politics with the auto company bailout bill and put non-bailout stuff into it? Well, of course Senator Dingy Harry Reid would!

Officially, the Senate vote was to invoke cloture on a bill about the Alternative Minimum Tax, but it was really the auto bailout. Why can’t those politicians ever tell the truth when they label a bill for a vote? Oh, and by the way, Dingy Harry was one of the Senators voting AGAINST the bill, but he officially blames the GOP. Afterwards, Reid gave a speech on the Senate floor in which he predicted that the stock market would crash the next day. All during that speech, he was fighting off a big smile and laughter. He’s all giddy while trying to provoke another economic downturn! I don’t have THAT video (if any of you find it, send it to me ASAP!), but I do have this one (thanks to blogger GunnyG) that includes Senator Upchuck Schumer obviously quite happy that the economy is bad while Bush is still in office. Upchuck needs to get beeeotch-slapped for this one.

President Bush, who seems to have turned into a far-left liberal for the last few months of his Presidency in an attempt to get the media to love him, wants to use money from the original $700 BILLION bank bailout for the auto makers. Unfortunately, as the Heritage Foundation points out, it is illegal to give that money to anybody but “financial institutions” and the Big 3 don’t qualify.

I know, I know…this story really won’t surprise any of y’all. The Chosen One’s choice for Energy Secretary is a big anti-fossil fuels guy and believer in man-made Glo-Bull Warming. He’s probably a disciple of The Prophet Algoracle.

Speaking of anti-American MORONS, we now take a trip (not via acid) to Woodstock, NY. The love, peace, Kumbaya, free sex and dope stuff didn’t leave that area after the famous concert. We’ve gotta have world peace, man no matter who it inconveniences. Have those now-grown-up Hippies ever taken baths? Yep, I went there. Hat tip to Neal Boortz for that one.

Have you noticed that anytime stories such as this one are in the news, we don’t hear much from Algoracle? But we all know that Man-Made Glo-Bull Warming is REAL! Just ask the residents of Houston and N’awlins if they wanna kick Algoracle in his squirrel food.

Today’s Stoooopid Criminal Alert comes from Minnesota. You’ve gotta read it to believe it.

Michelle (***sigh!***) Malkin has another column highlighting the law breaking and corruption of yet another Obama appointee for his cabinet. Is there anyone at all who is associated with this guy who doesn’t have severe ethical/moral/legal issues?

A friend of mine (former SEAL) sent me this website link (which his “sweet innocent daughter” sent to him) for all of you guys who have girly-girl daughters, nieces, girlfriends, wives, etc. I say that it is another example of the proper holiday spirit to send out that catalogue!

All of the “experts” are claiming that the auto company bailout must happen immediately or bankruptcies would cause turmoil within weeks. Aren’t these the same people who said the stock market would crash unless the gummint ponied up $700 billion for the banks? What happened when the $700 billion was ponied up? The stock market crashed anyway! Those “experts” need to get real jobs.

From the “Some People Are Just Morons” files comes this little story of a brain dead man and his rowboat. Why would anybody do that in the first place, and why stop that close to the goal if you go through that much?

Here we go with another story brought to you by those folks on the left, who DEMAND that everybody be tolerant of all things deviant while attacking anything or anybody that stands for morality. Yep, those folks are sooooo tolerant that they are completely INTOLERANT of anybody whose opinion differs from theirs. Our friendly preachers of tolerance set fire to Sarah Palin’s church in Wasilla, AK, on Friday night while there were people inside, including children. Did the sickos at least buy some carbon credits from The Prophet Algoracle and the Gorons before lighting off their blaze?

We all know that the poor in America disproportionately vote for liberals, because the liberals promise them gummint handouts and who is gonna vote against free money for themselves, right? Well, The Chosen One is trying to figure out if $1 TRILLION is enough to buy the necessary votes to keep his party in power in 2010. Earth to Obama: “Check the Constitution. Your handouts and entitlement programs not only don’t ever work, but they aren’t legal.”

If you had any doubt that Vlad “The Impaler” Putin was reinstating the Soviet Union in Moscow, then this ought to cure you of those doubts. Is this what we can expect once Red Nanny, Dingy Harry, and The Chosen One institute the Fairness Doctrine and shove their “reforms” through without opposition? This is why the Minnesota recount and Georgia runoff were so critical.

Holy Schnikey! Hat tip to Michelle Malkin for this link. You won’t believe the size of a UAW contract with an auto company. Thank God for lawyers, eh?

Is there any doubt that Robert Mugabe has been the worst national leader in the history of Africa? He took a rich nation that was the agricultural leader of the continent and took it into dire poverty and hunger. Like a good liberal, he has ignored and falsified election results and basically proclaimed himself leader for life. Lately, Zimbabwe has been in the grips of a cholera outbreak that has sickened and killed thousands. Mugabe’s response? The cholera outbreak is biological warfare against him and his nation by the British. Will someone please hurry up and implant a couple of 7.62 x 33mm, 24.7 grain devices in his brain housing group?

Once again, Juan “Amnesty” McCain proves that he prefers to side with Democrats over conservatives. How in the world did he ever get the nomination?

How economically feasible are electric cars? A report from France shows that hybrid engines and other developments show MUCH more promise. They also don’t have to be recharged by coal-fired power plants (USA) or eeevilll nukes (France).

Speaking of eeevilll nukes, there’s a wackjob in Utah who claims nukes will rain down on us and prevent Obama from taking office. He also claims to be a prophet. Methinks he’s off his meds.

Don’t fret, folks. There is some good news regarding illegal immigration.

Is there ANYONE associated with Barack Obama, besides his children, who isn’t being investigated?

“Arab outrage of the Week Awards” presents this story. Iran is upset at a movie about wrestling, and I don’t care! I really am tired of the Religion of Perpetual Outrage.

From the “What will they tax next?” Department comes this story, via Michelle Malkin, about Noo Yawk Guvna Patterson and his plans to raise taxes during economic down times. As the Guinness commercials say…”BRILLIANT!”

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw, e-mail them to me at and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

4 Responses to “The Weekly Claw 12-16-08”

  1. Julie Says:

    I am still giggling at the Governor Bozo…his hair is funny too! He is the only comedy relief this week…the rest of the news is bit tough to hear but needs to known. What a shock to know that the KGB is alive and well and Putin has not changed his ways. Will wonders never cease?

    It’s sad to know that so many Americans have their heads buried in the sand.

    The “prophet” is a real joy! What a buzz kill! I just bought a half gallon of milk that expires on December 24th. I guess I will have to drink it before the nuclear rain! I will also stop spending anymore $$ on Christmas this year as the Nuclear Grinch will be stealing Christmas this year…where does one buy them thar iodine crystals??? I bet they would make GREAT stocking stuffers! :P LOL

  2. JoeMoneyMatters Says:

    Nother Goodin Fish.

  3. The Crawfish Says:

    Y’all should see the comments at the other place I posted this column.

  4. FawnMac Says:

    Once again – Thanks Crawfish, you do a fantastic job week after week. I can hardly wait for you to get that political party going…We need you. Count me in. Until then I wait each week for the next edition of your Weekly Claw! I actually scanned it Tue but just got back to read & reply today.

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