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Here we go into Super Bowl Weekend, and The Crawfish has this reminder for you: In this down economy, the advertisers really do need your support during this game, so go pee during the action of the field.

On that subject, The Crawfish will post a special edition of The Claw next week (day to be determined) with my annual review of the commercials from the big game. As for the game itself, there are three reasons that I will be cheering for the Arizona Cardinals:
a) The Cards beat the Filthadelphia Illegals!
b) The Cowboys and Steelers are tied at 5 rings each.
c) Barack Obama is cheering for Pittsburgh.

We start off the Saturday column with an article that is certain to hack you off. Don’t ever let a member of a teachers union try to tell you that they are not extremely biased in favor of the Democrats. The indoctrination of our children continues.

And so it begins. The Democrats have taken control, and one of their first acts is to start trying to prosecute members of the previous Administration for crimes that do not exist. The left still has its panties in a wad over the 9 federal prosecutors that the W Administration fired, even though they serve at the pleasure of the President and their hero, Bill Clinton, fired many more of them. They also are peeved that the W Administration prosecuted (and convicted) a former Governor. That’s just not allowed when the perp is a Democrat. Of course, the guy pushing this is Rep. John Conyers, and before I even had a chance to do so, blogger Gunny G has him skewered, sliced, diced, and flambéed over his own misdeeds on the taxpayer dime.

When it comes to dealing with Islam and its followers, even the Dalai Lama knows that non-violence will never work. The Democrats and the leftists of Europe will just have to agree to disagree with him.

Have I shown y’all a story of non-tolerance from the Followers of the False Prophet lately? In case I’ve been remiss in that duty, I humbly this story from Cairo. Go ahead, CAIR. Put me on your watch list, AGAIN!

Y’all probably expected this bit of racist legislation to appear sometime early in this year. Yep, we must be ready to give more money away to people to buy their votes.

Now that they’re in power, the Democrats are facing a big division within their party. Dear Leader won’t be able to vote “Present” on this one, since one of his stated main goals is the “greening” of America. The issue is whether or not to build a big wind farm off the coast of Taxachusetts. The Governor (a good friend of Obama and source of many of his best speech lines) is a proponent, as are the legions of envirowackos that dictate policy to the Democratic Party. In opposition stands Senator Teddythedrunk (D-Chappaquiddick), “The Lion of the Senate”, whose family estate would have its luxury somewhat disrupted by having the wind turbines within view on a clear day.

What network managed to score the first television interview with President Obama? If you guessed ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC, PBS, Oxygen, Lifetime, whatever the name of that gay/lezbo network is, USA, or ESPN, you would sadly be mistaken. Once again, we see where he stands.

That interview went so well that Mah(p-tooey)mood I’minajihad is demanding that the US end all support for the murdering Zionist regime and apologize to Iran for all past misdeeds, along with removing all of our forces from the middle east. What part of “Kiss my anti-terrorist, pro-Israel tail section” is so hard for him to understand?

Free healthcare for illegal aliens, paid for by American taxpayers, is part of the SCHIP legislation changes put forth by Dingy Harry and the rest of the Democrats. Socialism and open borders combined in one legislative package. Niiiiiice.

Even the CBO knows that the SCHIP expansion before Congress is nothing more than nationalized and socialized medicine. Hawaii tried that stuff a year ago, and had to shut it down because all of the families quit paying for private sector insurance because the gummint was giving them freebies. They ran outta $$ within 6 months!

The Crawfish THOUGHT he had a real conservative as a Senator, but John Cornyn was one of ten Vichy Republicans who voted to confirm a tax-cheat as head of the IRS. Time to write an e-mail to my Senator…again.

Now we have an Obama nominee, this time for Deputy To Hillary!, who says not paying for foreign abortions is a limitation on the Constitutional right of free speech. Do liberals come up with this kind of logic naturally, or do they write it down while on acid trips?

Blogger edamon50 requested that this furniture advertisement be shown in The Claw this week, since Ol’ Blago’s impeachment trial was underway in the Corruptionnois Senate. We aim to please ‘round here.

During the W Administration, the unConstitutional Department of Education more than doubled its budget. If this new “stimulus” bill gets passed, that budget will get more than doubled again! The Noo Yawk Slimes actually has a pretty good article on how much of the “stimulus” bill’s spending is unConstitutionally spent on education. Of course, they don’t call it unConstitutional, but it is (look it up!). Notice how often UNIONS are mentioned in the article.

The Wall Street Journal reports that only 12% of the “stimulus” bill can even remotely be called economic stimulus-related. The Department of Education, with its expanded funds, ought to figure out that math. That may be a problem, since “No recipient . . . shall use such funds to provide financial assistance to students to attend private elementary or secondary schools.” So kids who are actually SMART can’t get any money, and no money can support kids who were not educated by UNIONIZED TEACHERS! Check out the rest of the 40 year liberal wish list that is included in this farce of a bill.

Heck, even Hollyweird is getting a part of the “stimulus” money. If they have enough money to pay line-readers $20 million or more per movie and throw super-lavish parties, along with the gratuitous look-at-me-and-how-important-and –successful-I-am award shows (is there a week between mid-January and mid-May that DOESN’T have some kind of award show?), then they need not a dime of MY TAX MONEY! Pay them military-enlisted salaries!

The taxpayer-supported and (swallow your coffee before reading the next term) “non-partisan” group ACORN committed a lot of vote fraud across the nation in their obvious partisan activities last year. Senator David Vitter of Louisiana has the stones to call out the Democrats for including a few BILLION of YOUR dollars to go to ACORN via the “stimulus” bill.

Since the GOP House Members had the integrity to stand up for the American people and vote against the unConstitutional spending of the “stimulus” bill, along with all of the Christmas-list of partisan liberal goodies (wait, that would be Festivus-list, since the Democrats are against all things Christian) that could never be passed if the media gave any scrutiny to them (see Wall Street Journal article discussed above), Queen Nanny blasted the GOP as acting in a “partisan and irresponsible manner.” As if anything in that bill is responsible and non-partisan, and as if her changing of the House rules to prevent the minority party from having ANY influence on legislation was responsible and non-partisan. Time for a reality check, Nanny.

According to taxpayer-funded PBS, Obama is the first true American to be President. That might be a shock to the previous 42 men who held that job. The Crawfish finds that to be an insult to the entire nation, but isn’t surprised since it came from PBS.

The Idiot of the Week Award goes to The Prophet Algoracle. That moron trudged through an ice storm to testify about Glo-Bull Warming before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, chaired by ultra-moron John Kerry-Heinz. Will any of the Vichy GOP Senators question him on his financial stake in the Glo-Bull Warming hysteria? He makes big bucks if people believe his lies.

Second Place goes to Red Nanny herself, who said that FOOD STAMPS will stimulate the economy more than tax cuts. I gotta admit that the voting was close between the winner and runner-up.

The Golden DUH! Award of the week goes to Senator Mitch McConnell and the leadership of the Vichy GOP. They have noticed that if the voters have a choice between Democrats and a party that WANTS to be Democrats, the people are going to vote for the real thing, not the imposter.

Not only did our new SecTreas willingly cheat on his taxes, but now he gets almost a half-million dollar SEVERANCE PACKAGE from the Federal Reserve! Quit working for one company in order to take another job elsewhere, and get a huge bonus. Where can I get a gig like that?

Dear Leader and his minions are now going after all non-liberal media, trying to re-impose the “fairness doctrine” through back channels. Remember that anything centrist or to the right will be classified as subversive or right wing, but CNN, CBS, ABC, NBC, PBS, and NPR will be called “fair and balanced.”

Here’s a pretty good book review about Bernie Goldberg’s latest work. Its subject is the media and how they elected Obama. Here’s a great line from it: “Giggly teenage girls at a Jonas Brothers concert behaved with more restraint than Chris Matthews.” Couldn’t have said it any better myself!

For a long time, there has been a virtual prayer meeting hosted daily at the White House through their website. The new Administration decided that Christianity needs to be eliminated from the White House.

Bloggers Average Voter and Saltwater bring me a story about poetry in the toilet as a weapon against Glo-Bull Warming. I really can’t make this stuff up.

The Goracle testified before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee (what does myth-making have to do with Foreign Relations?), and the Vichy Republicans gave him a complete pass. Even the WaPo is calling him The Goracle!

Glo-Bull Warming? The Weather Channel’s founder says global COOLING is now underway, and gives us a history lesson.

If you believe, like The Crawfish does, that The Prophet Algoracle and his Gorons are complete frauds, and that Glo-Bull Warming is a hoax, you are encouraged to contact him with this link and let him know. Hat tip to blogger Jesse “The Mind” Norman and his comments at The Weekly Claw, Townhall edition.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw, e-mail them to me at at1aw_usn@yahoo.com and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

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