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Happy Valentines Day!

Well, this Saturday edition of The Claw is back to its normal, lengthy self. Next week will be different. The Crawfish will be away from home on Navy bidness, so both editions will probably be shorter than usual. (and the crowd goes wild!)

Is it just Philly, or is the rest of the country (besides every place I’ve ever lived) still all ga-ga over the Beatles, Elton John, and Billy Joel? The big concert event of the summer up here is going to be Elton John and Billy Joel at the Phillies’ ballpark. I’m wondering why more than 10 people under age 65 would go to that show.

The war of Islam vs the world continues, but President Obama is spending millions of your $$ to increase immigration from Gaza. Real good, Ace, bring Hamas here.

If you don’t approve of an admitted tax cheat being Secretary of the Treasury, there is something you can do to show your displeasure. Hat tip to blogger Gray Ghost for that one.

The Tax Cheat went before Congress to present his bailout plan, but all he gave was a few generalities. One Republican Senator came away with the impression that Geithner is clueless. Well, that’s true of the whole Administration and most of Congress!

Charlie Rangel cheated on his taxes and illegally kept multiple apartments (some used as offices) that were rent-controlled, but every Democrat in the House, along with 5 Republicans including Ron Paul, believe that Rangel should continue as CHAIRMAN of the committee in charge of tax laws. It’s gotten to the point that Bill Clinton is considered one of the ETHICAL Democrats!

According to Upchuck Schumer (D-wherever the TV cameras are), Americans don’t care about all of the pork in the “stimulus” bill. Hey Chuckie, we DO care where the money goes in this boondoggle! Senator Coburn of Oklahoma put out a list of pork in the bill that is not all-inclusive in the least, but includes $62,803,000,000.00 that should not be in there. That’s enough to build NINE aircraft carriers! There’s $300 million to buy electric golf carts, which are soooo green because they get their power from coal fired power plants instead of gasoline. And let’s not even talk about the $2,000,000,000.00 or so for ACORN.

Once again proving that their words are worth nothing, the Democratic House and Senate leadership has thrown any hint of bipartisanship out the window by shutting the GOP entirely out of the conference committee for the “stimulus” bill. That’s their version of “Change We Can Believe In.”

House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer agrees that there is a lack of bipartisanship in the House. He calls GOP complaints that they are not allowed to offer alternative bills “elitist.” He actually has the gall to call someone else an elitist, and blame them for not being bipartisan, when it is HIS party that is acting like ruling gentry?

Somehow, the conference committee reached a deal that actually trimmed the bill to a positively svelte $789,000,000,000.00. How that happened is beyond me.

One item that managed to stay in the bill is $30,000,000.00 to save the habitat of a friggin’ MOUSE in Red Nanny P-Lousy’s district. Yep, that’s a real solid bit of economic stimulus.

If the leader of the House gets a nice chunk of earmark, then the leader of the Senate has to get one as well. In this case, it would be a high speed rail line from El Lay to Vegas. Yep, it is the taxpayers’ job to fund a quick way for the Hollyweird crowd to go gamble. The Crawfish does wonder if the Mob Museum in Vegas is still part of the bill.

The AP has a basic breakdown of the “final” version of the bill, based on reports. Upon quick perusal, The Crawfish noted $103,700,000,000.00 that doesn’t belong at all. The following numbers are in BILLIONS of YOUR TAX DOLLARS: 4 for job training (not a federal government responsibility), 3 for “temporary” welfare payments, 14 for direct handouts to Social Insecurity recipients, 8.4 for mass transit (a local/state responsibility), 1.3 for Amtrak (which needs to run on its own dime), 4 for public housing (why is it my job to pay to house drug dealers and crackhos?), 7 for installing broadband internet in underserved areas (if they want it, THEY can pay for it!), 8 to states so they don’t have to trim their bloated budgets, 5 to weatherize houses for “modest income” people, 47 to prevent cuts in state aid to local school districts (state job, not feds), and 2 for Head Start.

How many jobs must be saved or created for this boondoggle to be considered successful? Since it will probably be a complete failure, top Democrats won’t define what success would be.

Of course, the liberals will probably resort to lies regarding the success of the bill, no matter what. Heck, The Chosen One has already been busted with a lie regarding the bill and jobs. During his push to get everything passed before the people could actually read the bill, he promised that Caterpillar would be able to immediately rehire workers that were laid off if the bill were to pass immediately. Caterpillar’s CEO said that in actuality the company would have more layoffs no matter what.

Democrats in Texas think that they have an issue to exploit, in that Republican Senators Hutchison and Cornyn missed some procedural votes on the “stimulus” bill. Since the Dems and The American Traitors already had 61 votes guaranteed, what was the point in the rest of the GOP hanging around to vote if they had better things to do?

The House voted overwhelmingly to not have any kind of vote on the “stimulus” bill until it had been posted in a searchable format for over 48 hours. SURPRISE! House Majority Leader Hoyer said that the bill would be posted Thursday night, with final debate Friday morning “giving members enough time to review the conference report before voting on it tomorrow afternoon.” Less than a day to read, review, get feedback from constituents, and prepare debate points for ONE THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED AND NINETEEN PAGES of legislation that is mostly not in searchable files? What kind of crack is he on? Is this the TRANSPARENCY in government that Obama and Red Nanny have been promising? Even DEMOCRAT SENATOR Frank “The Louse” Lautenberg of Noo Joisey says that none of the Senators will be able to read it all in time.

I don’t have a valid link for the story, but Drudge reports that Houston’s KSEV radio talked to Rep. John Culberson (R-TX) from the Houston area, and he said there was another reason that this bill is being rushed to a vote. Her Majesty P-Lousy is scheduled to depart on an 8-day, TAXPAYER FUNDED, European vacation Friday afternoon. Which is more important, witch? Doing right by the American taxpayer, or wasting our money on your vacation? UPDATE: Michelle (***sigh***) Malkin is also reporting that Italy is on Her Majesty’s small mind.

The final version is available in four parts from Her Majesty’s website. Here is the FIRST part. Here is the SECOND part. Here is the THIRD part. Here is the FOURTH part.

The bill also includes a provision that doesn’t allow Governors to turn down money that is being pushed on their state. In other words, the federal government has no regard whatsoever for the rights of a state governor to run his state. Constitution? We don’t need no stinkin’ Constitution!

Speaking of a stimulus and Democrat giveaways to buy votes, how long until they follow Mexico City’s lead on this plan?

Why couldn’t this have happened in October? The FBI raided a defense lobbying firm with close ties to anti-Marine John Murtha. The guy who almost took a bribe during the ABSCAM investigation, has slandered the US Marine Corps repeatedly, and has insulted his constituents numerous times might have been defeated, which would have raised the honor factor of the House all the way to sewer-level.

Every once in a while, The Crawfish comes across a story that makes me go WHAAAAAAAAAT?????????

A couple of anti-American judges who were appointed by Jimmuh Cahtuh have ruled that Californication must release over 57,000 inmates from its prisons because of overcrowding. One of the judges once ruled that reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in public schools is unconstitutional. The Crawfish contends that there is no such thing as prison overcrowding if you can stuff another one into the cellblock. If they wanted good conditions, they shouldn’t have committed the crimes that got them sent to prison.

In the past few years, some folks in Californication have complained that the envirowackos wouldn’t let them properly protect their lands from fire dangers. Well, folks in Australia have the same problems.

All Americans who take the war against radical Islam seriously are quite pleased that the next Prime Minister of Israel appears to be Benjamin Netanyahu, as he will fight Hamas and Hezbollah instead of kowtowing to them and to international pro-Islam opinion. Of course, the pro-Islamic Caliphate administration of The Chosen One is worried about a right-wing government that might stand up against His desires.

On February 24th, The Chosen One will deliver an address to a joint session of Congress regarding the budget. The GOP response will be given by one of the rising stars of the party, and possible future President, Governor Bobby Jindal of Louisiana. Leave it to my favorite Creole, Mrs. Crawfish, to note that the Governor of Louisiana will be speaking to a national audience on MARDI GRAS NIGHT!! Laissez les bons temps roulez!

Where are we going to end up if the Democrats get their way with the nationalization of the nation’s healthcare? The BBC gives us this preview of what might happen. Of course, the Brits never have been known for quality dental care…

Two and a half months after the fact, the Pakistani government is admitting what everybody knew already. The November attacks in Mumbai were at least partially planned in Pakistan. Thank you for admitting the obvious.

Students at Boulder (Colorado) High School, no doubt encouraged by their unionized “teachers”, are pushing to get their school renamed Barack Obama High School. Why not name it for Britney Spears? She has more actual accomplishments and a longer history of popularity among teenagers than The Chosen One.

According to a leading Saudi cleric, pedoplilia is the example to be followed by the Followers of the False Prophet. Since the one who made up the “religion” of Islam was a power-hungry, egotistical, pedophile, it is the proper way for all muslims to carry on with their lives. (And here my readers thought that I might go a who week without hacking off CAIR)

Bawney Fwank, the socialist pansy, is telling bankers that the government is going to run the banks and that bank executives won’t be allowed “in the drivers seat.” How nice. Nationalization of the banks now, with Maxine Waters wanting nationalization of the oil companies, and the auto industry next…

Rahmbo Emanuel says that the White House isn’t amateur hour and that they’re in better shape than the Clinton Administration was at this point. A) Yes, it is amateur hour. B) Being better than the Clinton Administration isn’t something to be proud of. It is an easy accomplishment.

Here’s a story of actual international military cooperation. The Big Blue Team, that would be The United States Navy, and the Russian Navy combined to capture at least 26 pirates off the Somali coast this past week. The Crawfish doesn’t believe that they should have captured the pirates, but rather should have opened fire on them.

Why would Obama still need multiple teams of high-priced lawyers fighting if he was telling the truth about his already-published Hawaiian birth certificate being valid? I’m just sayin’…

Keeping with the tradition of Democrats exposing military secrets in open Congressional hearings or in the press, we have Senator Diane “MilCon” Feinstein (D-Californication) blabbing about where we launch Predator drones from. Hey, Ditz! That cooperation from the Pakis was supposed to be SECRET!

Rep. Jim Moran (Communist-VA) says that it is a “simplistic notion” by those who have been successful and become wealthy to think that they can hold onto their own money and not have it “redistributed.” No, Jim, it is the American Way you friggin’ socialist. (Hat tip to Townhall member “Jessica”)

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw, e-mail them to me at at1aw_usn@yahoo.com and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

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