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Well, Mother’s Day weekend has come and gone, and now Mrs. Crawfish is overseas with her Navy unit for a while. Y’all know what that means, don’tcha? Yep, The Crawfish has more time on his hands to surf the news sites and produce nice, long columns.

Pfizer has announced that they will give away free prescriptions for some of their most popular medications, especially Viagra, to people who have lost their jobs and health insurance. Great. We really need MORE unemployed people having more sex so we can have even MORE welfare babies.

After years of trying to suppress overseas military voting ballots, the Dems, under the leadership of Senator Upchuck “Gun Grabber” Schumer, are now showing surprise and outrage over a report showing that as many as 25% of those ballots were not counted in the 2008 elections. Looks like their efforts were successful. How many of those ballots were from Minnesota? Might they have given Norm Coleman a win if they had been counted?

If you think Detroit is a hellhole now, just imaging what it would be like if General Motors left town.

Speaking of rust belt cesspool cities, Chicago is well known for corruption, cheating, and rigged outcomes in contests, so can you think of a better location for the Summer Olympic Games in 2016?

Remember the campaign pledge that nobody who makes less than $250,000.00 per year would see their taxes increased? How many non-Kool-Aid drinkers actually believed it? Well, it now appears that the Democrats are looking to raise taxes in a way that disproportionately affects the folks who make considerably less than that amount. I know, some of you out there will be absolutely SHOCKED to find out those liberal politicians LIED, especially on the subject of raising taxes.

Lying and unethical behavior is par for the course when Democrats are involved. The Crawfish has had plenty of stories lately about ethics and campaign finance violations by “ABSCAM” Murtha, Charlie Rangel, Diane “MilCon” Feinstein, et al. Well, the Democrat-controlled House has put the kibosh on any ethics investigations regarding campaign finances. This is the eighth time since February that the Dems have blocked investigations into their own people. Once again we see the differences between the parties, as the GOP allows investigations into the questionable dealings of its members, and if the investigations turn up damning evidence the GOP calls for the member to step down and face the prosecutions, while the Dems cover up and protect their people. It has been over two years since William “Cold Cash” Jefferson was caught with bribe money in his freezer, but he STILL hasn’t had a day in court!

As long as we’re on the subject of unethical actions involving the world’s only EX-Marine, “ABSCAM” Murtha, The Crawfish provides his readers with this link without commenting on the story myself, because it hacks me off too much to properly self-censor.

John Murtha Airport, in Johnstown, PA, is getting $800,000.00 in order to repave the ALTERNATE runway. Why is an alternate runway even needed at an airport that has a whopping SIX flights per day? Just another earmark for Murtha, who in 2004 had the Defense Department build an $8,000,000.00 radar system at the field…a radar that has NEVER BEEN TURNED ON!

That “stimulus” bill that The Golden Child rushed through Congress (remember, it had to get voted on immediately or we’d face “catastrophe”?) really has done a lot of good. Wait, how’d that bit of MSNBC propaganda get in my column? No, it hasn’t. Even the Noo Yawk Slimes is reporting that less than 6% of the “stimulus” funds have been doled out, and most of that was for “social services” instead of the promised “shovel ready” projects. Maybe the Congresscritters should have taken a few days to actually read that bill before they voted on it, instead of believing the “shovel ready” stuff that Obama and Pelosi said.

While most business executives these days are keelhauled in public opinion when they fly in private jets, the Beached Whale…er, Orca…wait…Oprah brags about having one, along with nice houses (plural) in a graduation speech. You see, liberals like her (and the Prophet Algoracle) are allowed to have such luxuries.

The Administration also went absolutely bananas over a few corporations having conferences in Las Vegas, which they saw as a completely unnecessary expense, but guess who is going on a Las Vegas junket to raise funds for a friend of his? Yep, His Majesty King Barack I is headed to the Vegas Strip to do a fundraiser for Dingy Harry “Land Deal” Reid. How much will this cost the taxpayers? Let’s see…there’s the Secret Service advance detail to check the place out, the Secret Service detail on the trip, the extra duty and overtime for all of the local/county/state police during the trip, the lodging and food for Obama and his entourage, and the cost to use Air Force One for the trip. Is this a necessary government expense?

Then there’s another questionable expense being charged to the credit card of the American taxpayers. The US government will pay $2,600,000.00 to teach PROSTITUTES in CHINA how to drink responsibly on the job. Folks, I really can’t make this stuff up. Who allowed this and where did he find the authorization for it in the Constitution?

Meanwhile, The Golden Child says that our current deficit spending is “unsustainable” and is warning that if it continues, we’ll face skyrocketing interest rates. Sounds to me like we need to repeal all of his “stimulus” bill, all of the bailouts, and throw out all of the tax-and-spend liberals so we can reduce the deficit.

Thank you, Massa Tax Cheat Timmy, for the IRS ruling that religious leaders can advocate for issues regarding their faith without losing their tax-exempt status.

Tax Cheat Timmy’s Treasury Auto Task Force has now dictated that Chrysler’s advertising budget will be only half of what the company was planning to spend. Nice to know that the federal government now has the authority to override the business decisions made by the executives of a non-government company. The Crawfish must have missed that rewrite of the Constitution.

The Chosen One bows and scrapes to arab potentates, works on selling out Israel to the arabs, and now threatens to limit our intelligence cooperation with the Brits. Once again, The Crawfish asks whose side is Obama really on?

Ya know, if you make it a habit to tell the truth, you don’t have to issue 45 statements trying to explain your different stories that have been exposed as bald-faced LIES. Isn’t that right, Queen of the House Red Nanny P-Lousy? Red Nanny’s intelligence aide definitely told her that waterboarding WAS BEING USED back in 2003, and yet she still denies knowing about it. She has even gone so far as to say that the CIA is lying about the briefings. Sorry, Red Nanny, but you have a history of lying and the CIA has a history of trying to protect the nation. I think I’ll believe them instead of you.

Back in March, pseudo-Republican Arlen S.P.E.C.T.R.E. came out publicly against the Union Thuggerization Act of 2009 (aka the Employee Free Choice Act or card check bill). Now that he finally exposed the truth about which party he’s been working for over the past 4 decades, he is exposing that statement from March to be…you guessed it…a LIE! Whatever it takes to keep Arlen in power, Arlen will do. The man has no principles.

Being fast and loose with the truth isn’t limited to the Democrats on Crapitol Hill. Doing a fact-check on any pronouncements from Vice-King Gaffes Biden usually turns up a large number of, shall we say…misstatements.

The Swamp’s readers will no doubt be completely surprised to find out that many of the folks in the anti-war and anti-military groups are also liars and frauds. Oh…you weren’t surprised? Good. That means you’ve been paying attention.

Let’s hear it for the UNITED STATES NAVY and the REPUBLIC OF KOREA NAVY and their anti-pirate efforts! A ROK destroyer and the cruiser USS Gettysburg responded to a ship in distress and managed to capture one of the pirate “motherships” with 17 of the scumbuzzards aboard.

His Majesty has a plan. He wants to close, restaff, and reopen 1,000 of the worst public schools in America each year for the next 5 years. First off, He doesn’t have any authority in the realm of public education, according to that pesky Constitution. The federal government has no say in it at all, and can’t even spend money on public education! Second, does He really think that the teachers unions will let some of their people get fired? Nope. The restaffing of those schools will consist of sending the teachers that failed in that school to others within the same school district, and shuffling other teachers over to the previously failing school. Spread the mediocrity.

Doesn’t the Obama Administration have better things to do than go after a cereal brand because of the language it uses to advertise its products? Cheerios has been advertised for a while as a food to eat if you want to lower your cholesterol level. High fiber foods, especially those that are oat-based have been proven to help lower cholesterol levels, but the FDA says that the claims on the Cheerios boxes cause the cereal to be officially classified as a drug. Someone in that office evidently knows all about drugs, since they must be smokin’ the crack to be taking these actions.  If they want to go after false claims, they should start with the Obama Administration and the current Congress!

Nostrildamus Waxman is STILL pushing for an economy killing anti-Glo-Bull Warming bill involving cap-and-trade programs and extortion on the states demanding that they reduce greenhouse gasses, especially C02. He’s pushing for this bill to pass before Memorial Day. What’s the rush? Part of it is that the Democrats want to get as much of their big-government controlling every part of life in America agenda passed before the people wake up to what is going on. Heck, even the Obama Administration is split on whether CO2 should even be classified as a hazardous greenhouse gas!

Meanwhile, analysts agree that the technology required for The Chosen One’s plans to switch away from fossil fuels isn’t available and/or isn’t anywhere close to affordable. So why don’t we go ahead and tap into OUR OWN sources of energy while that technology is being developed, instead of relying upon (and enriching) the muslim world? Wait…we have a muslim President who is trying to destroy our nation…THAT explains it!

If the word “black” was changed to “white” in this story, all of the race warlords such as Jesse-Be-The-Jackson and Al “Tawana Brawley” Sharpton would be camped out in front of this family’s house leading protests that would be intensively covered by the media, with The Perky One and Matt Lauer decrying the state of racism in our nation and how all opposition to President Obama is related to it.  Yep, they’d be on it like rats on Cheetoes.

An official in one of the local confusions of a municipality (there’s Doylestown Township and Doylestown Borough, but it is all Doylestown just with competing governments and police forces…buncha brain dead Yankees) near The Crawfish’s current domicile recently proposed that people who drive “green” vehicles be exempt from having to pay the parking meters around town. Luckily for the Borough, the town council’s public safety committee rejected the obviously discriminatory plan.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at at1aw_usn@yahoo.com and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.” - John Adams (contributed by Claw reader “Jennifer” )

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