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AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I’m gonna have to start changing the days of my columns if this keeps up. The weekend news has been very light lately, but I’m overwhelmed with stuff for The Weekend Claw! I’m putting this column to bed Thursday afternoon!

Townhall blogger “INTHENOW” sent me the following: “Killed in action the week before, the body of Staff Sergeant John C. Beale was returned to Falcon Field in Peachtree City Georgia, just south of Atlanta, on June 11, 2009. The Henry County Police Department escorted the procession to the funeral home in McDonough Georgia. A simple notice in local papers indicated the road route to be taken and the approximate time. Nowadays one can be led to believe that America no longer respects Honor and no longer honors sacrifice outside the military. Be it known that there are many places in this land where people still recognize the courage and impact of total self-sacrifice. Georgia remains one of those graceful places. This link is a short travelogue of that day’s remarkable and painful journey. Please share widely, and make sure you have Kleenex handy.

Then there’s The Chosen One disrespecting the armed forces Tuesday morning while on the third leg of the “AMERICA SUX WORLD TOUR 2009.” The Messiah actually said, “The future does not belong to those who gather armies on a field of battle or bury missiles in the ground.” Hey Enlightened One, those who do NOT gather armies will be crushed by those who do, but since your goal is to assist in bringing about the Worldwide Caliphate, we know that you’re just trying to weaken the US. Once again…EPIC FAIL!

The arrogant jerk that is White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs actually said, “There’s no politics at work when it comes to spending for the recovery,” but when the FACTS are observed he is seen to be a LIAR once again. Of the “stimulus” bill spending that has happened so far and can be tracked (whatever happened to www.recovery.org and the “transparency”), the 872 counties in America that supported The Chosen One in the November elections have received an average of $69 per person, while the 2,234 counties that supported McCain have received only about $34 per person. Oh, and to answer my own question about Gaffes Biden’s famous website that was supposed to track all “stimulus” spending…Fox And Friends reported on Thursday morning that another $18,000,000.00 was going to be spent to overhaul that website. The darn thing is less than 6 months old and needs an $18,000,000.00 rework?

House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-Maryland) was asked about a pledge for all House members to actually READ the Obamacare bill that’s progressing through the House right now. He responded by LAUGHING! He said that if only members who actually read the bill were to vote, there’d be very few votes. He seriously thinks it ludicrous to believe that House members would actually read something that they’re voting on. Sorry, jerk, but that is part of their JOB!

There is at least one Senator on the Democrat side of the aisle who opposes the Crrap-And-Tax bill. The ancient Robert Byrd of West Virginia, who has just been released from the hospital after a month-long battle with a staph infection, is an opponent of the bill because he believes in clean coal technology, which should come as no surprise since he comes from a state that gets most of its money from COAL!

In a Senate Environment and Public Works Committee hearing, the head of the EPA reported that the Crrap-And-Tax bill would HAVE NO IMPACT on the climate, especially since China and India not only are rejecting all curbs on pollution but are ramping up industrial production daily! Energy Secretary Chu, who got his job only because he’s an Obama supporter with a clean IRS record, said that he disagrees with the EPA report. He had to say that to keep his cushy job.

The leaders of the G8 nations have come to an agreement to prevent the earth’s temperatures from rising another 3.6 degrees Fahrenheit. They must fight Glo-Bull Warming! Somebody needs to tell these morons that the average temperatures have been DROPPING for the past few years and that the only way to control the earth’s temperature is to control the sun, which ain’t gonna happen unless one of them has the powers of God himself. Of course, the liberals and the media (but I repeat myself) DO believe Obama to be The Messiah…

His Majesty King Barack I was discussing arms control with the Soviets while in Moscow, and His staff spouted off this little bit of news. The difficulty of the task might mean temporarily bypassing the Senate’s Constitutional role in ratifying treaties by enforcing certain aspects of a new deal on an executive levels and a “provisional basis” until the Senate ratifies the treaty. Yes, the Obama Administration wants to bypass the Constitution…AGAIN! They’re getting bold enough now to actually PUBLICLY ADMIT that they’re doing it.

Obama’s people and the ACORNholes have even started an organization to repeal the 22nd Amendment of the Constitution in order to allow His Majesty to become President For Life. They have even gotten it introduced as a bill before Congress, sponsored by Rep. Jose Serrano (D-illegal aliens of The Bronx), who has been a Congresscritter since 1993 (thankfully, no co-sponsors so far, but give the moonbats time). I do believe it is time to term-limit HIM! Isn’t this what Hugo the Red did down in Venezuela? Isn’t that what got Zelaya kicked out of Honduras? Hat tip to Townhall blogger “Donnie” for this one.

Speaking of Honduras, The Crawfish is proud to say that John Cornyn (R-TEXAS!!!) is one of his Senators. Senator Cornyn stands with the people and the actual constitution of Honduras and has issued this statement to go along with a letter to SecState Hillary! which shows support for Mr. Micheletti, the interim President of Honduras, outlines the charges against former President Zelaya, and includes copies of the charges written by the nation’s Attorney General and copies of the orders from the nation’s supreme court. The letter, written by Senator Jim DeMint (R-SC), which Cornyn and 15 other GOP Senators co-signed and is a MUST READ. Senators Cornyn, DeMint, Mel Martinez (R-FL), and Tom Coburn (R-Oklahoma is OK!) held a press conference to announce their support for the new Honduran government and to say that the people of that nation, except for a few hard-core Zelaya supporters, do not believe that nation to be in crisis. Here’s a video of Senator DeMint speaking on the Senate floor in favor of the new government of Honduras.

One of the companies that has sent lots of bribe money…er, campaign contributions to the world’s only EX-Marine John “ABSCAM” Murtha has plead GUILTY to bribery and corruption charges. Murtha’s response is that he wasn’t involved at all, even though he gave the companies involved plenty of earmarks to work on his personal airport.

The House Democrats are proposing a SURCHARGE on upper-level taxpayers to pay for their socialist health care plans. In other words, they were already planning to raise the top tax bracket from the current 35% to about 40%, and this proposal will drive it up to 45%. Notice that someone from a research group that deals with low-income folks says that this proposal is “progressive.” No, you left-wingnut, tax hikes are REGRESSIVE. Class warfare, wealth envy, wealth redistribution, and more stuff for free…the only way the Democrats get the leeches of society to vote for them faithfully.

As long as the subject is feel-good legislation that ends-out hurting Americans instead of helping them, are y’all ready to see the price of EVERYTHING you buy go up sharply? This bit of inflation will not be due to the current economic crisis, but rather will be due to other anti-Constitutional legislation passed by the Democrats to make it look like they support the little guy, so they can get the little guy votes. The federal minimum wage will go up by 70 cents per hour on July 24th. Since almost all union wages are proportionately tied to the minimum wage, all of THOSE wages will also rise. The cost to American companies will skyrocket, and many jobs will be lost. The Crawfish is STILL trying to find something in the Constitution that allows the federal government to dictate the terms of the private business contracts between employer and employee. And while we’re on that subject…

Here’s another piece of the puzzle for the Obama/P-Lousy Union Thuggerization Bill of 2009. Last week, Obama appointed a lawyer who has been working for the unions for over 40 years to the position of Director of the Federal Mediation and Conciliation Service. The story from The National Right to Work Legal Defense Foundation, Inc, shows just how the Democrats and the unions (but I repeat myself) plan on screwing over American businesses with their unConstitutional forcing of union contracts upon businesses. Hat tip to AllMilitary.com commenter “USN-G-Man”.

The bi-partisan US Commission of Civil Rights NEVER issues a unanimous statement, until now. The decision by The Chosen One and the Affirmative Action Attorney General to let the New Black Panther Party off the hook for their blatant voter intimidation in Filthadelphia on election day, and the fact that Acting Assistant Attorney General for the Civil Rights Division Loretta King has REFUSED to answer the OFFICIAL inquiries from the Commission and Republican Congresscritter Frank Wolf of Virginia, has the Commission properly miffed at her and the Justice Department. Of course, that and 2 dollars will buy you a soda, since the LAW is whatever Obama and Holder SAY it is. Hat tip once again goes to Conservablogs blogger “Doc Crawfish”.

This has got to be one of the most lame-brained ideas to come down the pike in a while. Taking his cue from a Chinese airline, the head of Ryanair in Ireland wants to introduce what amounts to “standing room only” seats in the company’s passenger jets, allowing them to cram in 50% more passengers. Of course, those passengers become missiles in the event of a crash, not only dying in the process but also injuring or killing those they fly into. Who needs safety when there’s profit to be made? While The Crawfish believes in capitalism, I’m also a former safety manager for an industrial site. Safety rules are written for a reason.

The crack staff at www.boortz.com found this story about a radically idealist article written in 1983 by Columbia University senior Barack Obama calling for a “nuclear free world” which has resurfaced as one of his goals since being elected. It clearly shows how much of a naïve imbecile he was then, and he hasn’t changed a bit. Now why in the world was this article kept under wraps for so long, especially while Obama was running for President? Here’s a hint: as long as the scientific knowledge exists to make a nuclear bomb, there will be people trying to make them, and if they happen to be oil-rich muslim regimes, they will probably be successful and will use them against the non-muslims of the world.

In a Senate committee hearing, representatives of the Justice Department and the Obama Administration admitted that they believe terrorists captured on foreign battlefields have rights under the US Constitution. How can foreigners who have never been in the US have Constitutional rights, especially when The Chosen One, Queen of the House Red Nanny P-Lousy, Dingy Harry “Land Deal” Reid, and the rest of the Democrats are trying to abolish the Constitution here?

Townhall commenter “beachmom” strikes again. This time she brings us an article written by a Fellow of the Russian Academy of Natural Sciences, who is also a staff researcher for the Oceanology Institute. This explanation of climate cycles is sure to cause The Prophet Algoracle to have kittens again.

Poor Gore…eventually he’ll reach the point that not even the tinfoil hat wearing liberal loonies will pay attention to him. This week he was over in England (how much jet fuel did he use to get there???) comparing the battle against climate change to WW2, saying that the nations need to be rallied to the cause like Sir Winston Churchill rallied Britain against Hitler. Uh, Al? How do you expect to battle THE SUN???

Us conservative types have been tellin’ y’all for a year that the mortgage and credit crisis in our country, which is the main reason for the economic collapse, was the fault of the Democrats. The media kept asking Rep. Bawney Fwank (D-gay bars of Taxachusetts) if that was true, and of course he blamed Bush. Well, a Congressional report has now been issued and the blame falls squarely upon Freddie, Fannie, Fwank, $lick Willie Clinton, and the Democrats. Ol’ Lithpy ain’t gonna be pleased when this hits his desk!

The Affirmative Action SCOTUS nominee is under media fire for her racist and sexist attitudes. The Washington Times reports that she has stated, “gender and national origins may and will make a difference in our judging.” NO! Gender and ethnicity should have NO IMPACT on your judging. All that matters is the CONSTITUTION (as written and properly amended), whether or not the law in question meets the strict meaning of the Constitution, and whether or not the law (if Constitutional) was broken. In three speeches she used this line as well: “My experiences will affect the facts that I choose to see as a judge.” The facts that she CHOOSES TO SEE???? That statement alone disqualifies her from being a judge!

The White House is denying manufacturer’s claims that micHELLe Obama was carrying around a PURSE in Moscow that is priced at $5,950.00. Officials say that micHELLe, who was wearing $540.00 sneakers recently when spending time at a DC area food bank, was instead carrying a purse that only costs $875.00. Earth to White House…that is still WAY TOO MUCH to spend on a frickin PURSE! Try getting one for about $75.00 at JC Penney or somewhere like that!

Here’s the latest update…Michael Jackson is STILL DEAD! The memorial service, which for some ungodly reason was carried live by almost every single broadcast network in existence, was used as a stage by one of the biggest barking moonbats in the Democratic Party. Sheila Jackson-Lee (D- the leeches of Houston) p!mped out her own Congressional Resolution to honor MJ, while screeching, “We understand the Constitution. We understand laws.” Oh really? You understand the Constitution? Going over the things that you have voted for, I’d be inclined to say that you have NO CLUE as to the contents of the Constitution of the United States, nor your Oath of Office.

The standard Democrat tactic of scaremongering people into supporting tax hikes is underway in Corruptionois. Instead of cutting back on non-necessary services and services to non-drybacks, the state is threatening to cut prison guard jobs and release 10,000 prisoners early. The liberals in Californication used that same tactic a few months ago. I’d be willing to bet that if someone were to go through the budget cutting proposals and compare them to the spending for this year, the pet projects of many lawmakers would show up as still funded.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at at1aw_usn@yahoo.com and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“When schoolchildren start paying union dues, that’s when I’ll start representing the interests of schoolchildren.”– Albert Shanker, former American Federation of Teachers president

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