The Weekend Claw 12-18-09

December 18th, 2009, by TheCrawfish

Well, it’s time to stand by for snow shoveling up here in the suburbs of Filthadelphia. We’re expecting 7-10 inches of Glo-Bull Warming on Saturday.

A year or two ago, The Prophet Algoracle went to London for a conference of The Gorons, and as a result London got its earliest snowfall ever. This year, His Majesty King Bur’aq al Obama I goes to Copenhagen for a conference of The Gorons and Copenhagen gets smacked with a heavy snow. Could somebody at a much higher paygrade than The Crawfish (or King Bur’aq, or The Prophet Algoracle) is sending them a message that HE, not THEY, is in charge of weather?

ClimateGate is getting even bigger. Now the Russians are saying that the British Glo-Bull Warming activist “scientists” changed Russian temperature data in order to make Glo-Bull Warming appear much greater than reality.

His Majesty has declared a “meaningful breakthough” in Copenhagen. Too bad he’ll need at least 7 Republicans to sign onto whatever he presents to the Senate. T’ain’t gonna happen, McGee.

The Daily Express in England gives us 100 reasons that Glo-Bull Warming is not man-made.

No wonder Barack Obama and the Democrats want to impose Crrap-And-Tax in the USA. In Europe, the carbon trading system is under the control of organized crime. Since the Democrats are effectively an arm of organized crime in the US, along with the unions, they fully support that idea!

Speaking of organized crime and The Chicago Way, the White House is so eager to get Obamacare passed that they have, according to sources but denied by Rahm “Ballerina” Emanuel, threatened to put Offutt Air Force Base on the BRAC list if Senator Nelson doesn’t vote for cloture in the Senate. The heck with national security…we’ve got POLITICAL battles to win!

The Hound of All Media, Senator Chuck Schumer (safety tip for all readers: Never get between Upchuck Schumer and a TV camera or a microphone) was in the news this week for giving a hard time to a flight attendant when she directed him to cease using his cell phone on board the aircraft, according to the safety rules of USAir. After he was finally forced to obey the rules that the Great Unwashed gladly follow, Upchuck called the flight attendant something that won’t get by the censors of most blog sites. (Full disclosure: The Crawfish has a cousin who is a retired flight attendant for a major airline in the US) He was sitting with the UNELECTED junior Senator from Noo Yawk, Kirsten Gillibrand. An unnamed congressional staffer seated behind them heard the exchange and gave the story to Politico.com. Schumer, through a spokesperson, apologized for calling the flight attendant a name and for his other conduct. Gillibrand, being a good Democrat and not knowing that Upchuck had ‘fessed up, lied (a trait of good Democrats) to the media and said Schumer did not use that term at all. Can’t you two get your stories straight?

If you didn’t believe before that the Obama Administration supports those who are traitors against our nation or who oppose us, well we’ve got news for ya. The President has just nominated Mari Del Carmen Aponte for the Ambassadorship to El Salvador. Ms. Aponte was nominated for a diplomatic post in the past, but was rejected because she had been shacking up with a member of the Cuban intelligence services. When questioned by federal authorities about the matter, she refused to cooperate. Since she has that on her record, and is a former board member of the anti-American group “The Race”, also known as the national Council of La Raza, Bur’aq al Obama sees her as a perfect choice for his Administration.

Liberal Democrats will go to great lengths to find ways to spit in the faces of Christians. No blasphemy is too great for them when they want publicity. Witness what DC Mayor Fenty is up to. He managed to get a heterophobe marriage bill passed in DC, and is going to have the bill-signing ceremony in a BAPTIST CHURCH! Obviously, even the Baptists of DC are good little liberals that don’t believe in rules, including those from God. The Bible calls homosexuality an “abomination before God” and forbids it, just like the Constitution forbids a lot of what liberals in DC believe in and perpetrate.

Since union teachers are impossible to fire, no matter what their misconduct, it is hardly surprising to see something like this happen in a Milwaukee elementary school. If this had happened to one of the junior Crawfishes, there’d be some real problems at the school. Hat tip to Poll Katz e-mailer “Ginny”.

The Crawfish is sure that many of his readers have heard by now that our enemies have been hacking into the communications with our drone aircraft. So far, all they’ve been able to do is see what video the unmanned aircraft are sending back to their bases, but eventually they will hack into the control channels. Remember, every single computer tech support call in the world goes to call centers in Pakistan. The military was warned about this 5 years ago, but they’re just now taking action. When the politicians and senior military folks started saying how drones will bee heavily used in the future, The Crawfish and every other enlisted person with avionics experience or computer knowledge said that our enemies would find ways to override the controls or jam all control signals. It’s not like the technology is very difficult and hasn’t been around for decades or anything. How old is the EA-6B Prowler jamming aircraft?

It’s about time! Domino’s Pizza is announcing this week that they are changing the recipes of their pizza, with new crusts, new sauce, and a new cheese blend. The Crawfish has only ordered Domino’s once in the past five years because their taste was not anywhere close to the other chains. Heck, I’ve bought frozen pizza from the grocery stores instead of Domino’s for the same reason!

This sounds like something from Tax Cheat Timmy Geithner, Chris “Countrywide” Dodd, or Bawney Fwank. There’s a new credit card out there with an interest rate that you simply won’t believe.

Townhall blogger “Flame” sent in an interesting article deciphering the rhetoric and language that The Chosen One uses in speech after speech. The liar is exposed once again.

We have another nominee for The Golden DUH! Award. Brain dead Democrats can’t even write their boondoggle earmarks correctly. Representative James Clyburn (D-Congressional Racist Caucus) tried to get $100,000.00 of federal money for a library in his South Carolina district. The money’s going to a library in a California town with the same name. The library in South Carolina had only asked for $50,000.00 to upgrade computers and such, but Clyburn doubled the amount and put the wrong state in the earmark.

Sometimes you’ve just gotta shake your head and wonder what alternate universe liberals live in. The Chosen One says that the federal government “will go bankrupt” unless we spend $2,500,000,000,000.00 on socialist health care. How in the world does spending that kind of money make our debt situation better? Only in the mind of economically-challenged liberals.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at CrawfishsClaw@yahoo.com and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“If, from the more wretched parts of the old world, we look at those which are in an advanced stage of improvement, we still find the greedy hand of government thrusting itself into every corner and crevice of industry, and grasping the spoil of the multitude. Invention is continually exercised, to furnish new pretenses for revenues and taxation. It watches prosperity as its prey and permits none to escape without tribute.” – Thomas Paine

The Constitution of the United States