12-16-2011 The Weekend Claw

It’s beginning to look a lot like …well, I was gonna say Christmas, but primary season seems to have taken over.

A) In the first twenty minutes of the GOP debate on Thursday, Ron Paul said that 50% of all spending cuts need to come from national defense. Consider that he said he would cut $1 TRILLION from the budget in his first year. Then consider that the entire proposed defense budget for 2012 (passed this week) is $682 billion, which means he would slash the defense budget by OVER 73%. Have I mentioned lately that he is a F***ING IDIOT? Later, he said that there is absolutely no proof that Iran is trying to make a nuclear weapon and that Iran really hasn’t pledged to exterminate Israel. He will continue to say that there’s no proof on either issue until there is a mushroom cloud over Tel Aviv. As good as he is on domestic issues, his national defense and foreign policy lunacy makes him completely untenable as a serious candidate to all but his rabid, brainwashed followers.

B) The GOP debate this week was the first one that I watched in its entirety. Mittens and Newt came across much better than I expected under the circumstances, even though Newt once again said that illegals who have broken our laws for 25+ years should get a free pass. While I don’t really care for either and have major disagreements with them, they are both much more worthy of being President than anybody who has a jackass as their symbol. Rick Perry did quite well, except for his stooooopid Tim Tebow comments. Rick Santorum was solid, but he really has no weight to his campaign or message. Michelle Bachmann looked almost plastic, but her performance gets a good grade. She showed that she is not afraid to go toe-to-toe with anybody, and she did a great job of getting Ron Paul to self-immolate. Governor Huntsman made a good case for his conservatism and experience, but the fact that he willingly went to work for the Obama Administration makes him a non-starter in this race.

C) True to his roots as a history professor and realist, Newt Gingrich has hacked off Islamic terrorists and their enablers throughout the Middle East, Europe, and the Democratic Party (oh…and in the Republican “establishment”). Newt has pointed out that the so-called palestinians are in fact a made-up people. They are merely arabs who formerly lived under the Ottoman Empire. He also pointed out how the Islamic terrorists constantly bombard Israel with missiles and other terrorist attacks while demanding that Israel pursue peace by giving away their whole nation. The so-called palestinians preach nothing but hatred and the murder of Jews in their schools (paid for by US aid dollars) and say that Israel has no right to exist, but their supporters in CAIR and the Democratic Party keep preaching about how they want nothing but peaceful co-existence. Combine that with his insistence that he would make John Bolton SecState and I’m starting to like (not endorsing…just liking more than before) Newt more and more, despite his numerous flaws. Now if we could only get him to admit that any kind of amnesty for illegals is a bad idea.

D) She’s at it again. You’ve gotta give props to Red Nanny P-Lousy for her persistence, even if it is based completely on ignorance and liberal politics. “The unemployment insurance extension is not only good for individuals. It has a macroeconomic impact. As macroeconomic advisers have stated, it would make a difference of 600,000 jobs to our economy.” Yes, she is still claiming that handing out checks for people NOT working means we “save or create” 600,000 jobs. That’s only true if we’re employing government workers to hand out checks individually to each and every unemployed person out there, with those workers having to travel to each home singly, hand out a single check, then return to the office to get the next check.

E) SCOTUS Justice Elena Kagan has recused herself from the case involving the Arizona immigration laws. This is a promising sign for the coming term, as she is under pressure to do the same thing on the Obamacare case since she was Solicitor General for the Administration when that bill was being shoved through Congress. In fact, the Department of Justice issued a memo, sent to Kagan, informing her that she did indeed substantially participate in a case that is directly tied to the Obamacare law. This means that not only does she need to recuse herself, but that she committed perjury in her confirmation hearings and should be impeached.

F) The Chairman of the Democratic Party of Indiana is quitting. He’s saying it is because seven years in that job is enough, but the real reason is that it has become known that the signatures required to get Barack Obama on the 2008 ballots in that state were fraudulent, and an investigation is now underway.

G) Barack Obama has transitioned from liar to completely delusional. Now he is claiming that Republicans around the country support his ideas. That’s like saying the Cuban community of southern Florida supports the ideas of Fidel Castro. Then again, everything he said in his 60 Minutes interview was complete Bravo Sierra, but See BS didn’t challenge him at all.

H) Barack Obama is threatening to veto a bill that would create over 20,000 union jobs directly, and over 500,000 jobs indirectly. Why? The only reason is because he wants American energy prices to go higher instead of getting lower. Will the unions raise a stink over this, or will they roll over and once again pledge their undying support for him? Of course, Obama says the Republicans are the ones playing politics here.

I) FINALLY! The Securities and Exchange Commission has filed fraud charges on eight former Freddie and Fannie execs. So far only two of them have been identified, so we don’t know if the two top fraudsters, Jamie Gorelick and Franklin Raines, are among the indicted. Since Obama and Holder are still in power it is doubtful that those two are getting charged, and if they are charged the Administration will make sure the trial gets delayed until 2013, and will pardon all involved after the election.

J) Ann Coulter has now lost all credibility. On Sean Hannity’s television show, she actually said that Mitt Romney is the most conservative of the GOP hopefuls. Right, and the Indianapolis Colts are a really good team this season.

K) Babs Boxer is an idiot. I know, I know, y’all already knew that, but take this into account. She railed this week on the Senate floor about Republicans wanting to allow coal-fired power plants to keep operating. She said this means the GOP wants to kill 8100 people. She unhesitatingly supports abortion on demand, which kills a LOT more than 8100 per year. She even mentions mercury in this screech, but doesn’t she support forcing Americans to use CFL light bulbs? They contain mercury, which poisons the air in a house if they break.

L) I don’t normally include stories like this in my columns, but I like this one. Longtime reader of The Claw, Jesse “The Mind”, sends us this primer on derivatives:

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in …

She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize her bar.

To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later.

Heidi keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around about Heidi’s “drink now, pay later” marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi’s bar. Soon she has the largest sales volume for any bar in .

By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands, Heidi gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages.

Consequently, Heidi’s gross sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets and increases Heidi’s borrowing limit.

He sees no reason for any undue concern because he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral!

At the bank’s corporate headquarters, expert traders figure a way to make huge commissions, and transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS.

These “securities” then are bundled and traded on international securities markets.

Naive investors don’t really understand that the securities being sold to them as “AAA Secured Bonds” really are debts of unemployed alcoholics. Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb – and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation’s leading brokerage houses.

One day, even though the bond prices still are climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi’s bar. He so informs Heidi.

Heidi then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons. But, being unemployed alcoholics — they cannot pay back their drinking debts.

Since Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations she is forced into bankruptcy. The bar closes and Heidi’s 11 employees lose their jobs.

Overnight, DRINKBOND prices drop by 90%.

The collapsed bond asset value destroys the bank’s liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community.

The suppliers of Heidi’s bar had granted her generous payment extensions and had invested their firms’ pension funds in the BOND securities.

They find they are now faced with having to write off her bad debt and with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds.

Her wine supplier also claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers.

Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multibillion dollar no-strings attached cash infusion from the government.

The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, nondrinkers who have never been in Heidi’s bar.

Now do you understand?

“The first and governing maxim in the interpretation of a statute is to discover the meaning of those who made it.” –James Wilson, Of the Study of Law in the United States, 1790

The Constitution of the United States

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