Posts for the category "Push to Test; Release to Detonate"

Spouse and Family Blog Update

Don’t forget to stop by the Spouse and Family blog to say ‘hi’ and to read the information that is posted there. Some of it is fun, some of it is serious, and all of it is informative!

Today I posted some tips from my friend Patti whose husband has PTSD. She has learned how to take a very difficult situation and support and love her husband in their new life together as a married couple facing PTSD/TBI. Stop by and take a peek. Leave a comment or two, as well!

Come over and see us!

The Wives Who Wait

I posted the following on our Spouse and Family blog. I have also posted a recipe for super easy, but totally awesome truffles. If you want some you will have to come and check out the blog!

December 12th, 2009, by Claire
The poem below was written for a friend during her first Christmas away from her husband while he was deployed. My friend, Aprille, shared at christianmilitarywives.com and I wanted to share it here. Her mother wrote it and I thought it was very poignant and empathetic.

I hope you are all having a good Christmas season!

The Wives Who Wait
Twas the night before Christmas
And there all alone
I saw a young woman
Who sat by the phone

For what was she waiting
On this holiday night
Where were the stockings
Christmas tree, lights?

I saw one little tear
As it rolled down her face
And she curled up in a blanket
Then looked round the place

Something was missing
Someone not here
In her face I saw sadness
Did I also see fear?

I paused and I wondered
What could it be?
That would cause a young woman
To look so lonely

How could anyone so precious
Choose such a life?
Then I realized this woman
Was a soldiers wife.

Her gift for this Christmas
Is to hear that phone ring
“Hey baby, I miss you
Don’t worry about a thing”

Each day I thank God for the soldiers that serve
Ever willing to fight and lay down his life
But how often do I ever remember think
About the young woman who is that soldier’s wife

Thank you God for these women
They are just as strong
They sacrifice daily
And without help get along

So God please protect our soldiers
On this holiday eve so late
And give an extra hug
To their wives who wait

(written by Jeannie Lining, my mom, during OEF deployment 2008)

Men Who Stare At Goats…

Apparently men who stare at goats also sympathize with terrorists.

Against our better judgement we went to see the new release this weekend. We have not had a “date night” in months and the hubs and I decided to go and see the movie. Fortunately for us we had a gift certificate big enough to pay for our tickets and some popcorn.

Here’s a brief synopsis of the movie from IMBD:

A reporter, trying to lose himself in the romance of war after his marriage fails, gets more than he bargains for when he meets a special forces agent who reveals the existence of a secret, psychic military unit whose goal is to end war as we know it. The founder of the unit has gone missing and the trail leads to another psychic soldier who has distorted the mission to serve his own ends. Written by Rob Harris

The movie has a few “chuckle” moments in it. Overall, however, anything that was even slightly endearing in the entire story is totally and utterly destroyed when the moronic hippies, from the farce unit, lace the water supply of a FOB in Iraq with LSD. Yeah, watching soldiers drive armored vehicles through fences, running around with their weapons and rolling on the ground from laughter in a war zone was just so hilarious (yes, this is bitterly sarcastic), but that’s not even the best part.

The hippies and the loser journalist do this so that they can release a bunch of goats that the military has captured and contained to run experiments on. I actually don’t even mind that part. I like goats, and they smell better than a lot of hippies I know. The part where I went to stand up and leave is when the hippies and the loser journalist release a handful of prisoners who were being “tortured” with Barney music and flashing lights. They release terrorists back into the desert as their “moment of redemption.” You heard me right. That is how they redeemed themselves from years of drug abuse, lying and deception. The only thing the movie producers forgot was to hand the band of terrorist thugs their weapons back as they set them free to kill and maim more innocent civilians and murder our soldiers.

Yeah, it’s a movie. I know. Maybe some will think I got too ticked off about a movie, but the movie started with the disclaimer “More of this is true than you would believe.” Just what were they implying? Who knows… then again maybe they are right!

After taking time to think this through I told my husband that it really is a most accurate film about the values of the supposed “progressive” hippy movement. When all is said and done the audience realizes that the entire special unit really was nothing but a fraud and a waste of tax payer’s money. They also realize that the majority of what was being experienced were hallucinations from LSD and amphetamine abuse. When they release the terrorists back into the desert the audience learns that the only redemption this group has to offer is not a redemption at all.

Maybe in that light, it’s not such an outrageous movie after all.

Can we talk about sex?

OK, now that I have your attention, I wanted to point you to the spouse and family blog where I actually do have a post us about sexual integrity and guarding yourself against extra-marital emotional entanglements. Military spouses are at risk for reaching out for support. There is nothing wrong at all with reaching out for added support — especially during deployment, but do you know your own weaknesses enough to know when reaching out like that can entrap you in an emotional affair? What boundaries can you put up to keep yourself and your marriage safeguarded from adultery?

Come and read the article and listen to an interview I got to do with Shannon Ethridge (a million copy best selling author on this topic).

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Updates from the Spouse and Family Blog

Greetings good folks! I thought I would hop on here an encourage you all to stop by our Spouse and Family section here at Allmilitary.com I have some new entries up and would love your feedback.

I have articles up about Fall Care Packages, the second deployment, benefits and programs for military members and their spouses, and many more! Stop by and say hi!

Also, don’t forget to visit…

Don’t forget to visit our spouse and family section of AllMilitary.com Even if you are not a family member (like maybe YOU are the military member!) you still can share your thoughts and ideas. Check our our blog and discussion board!

Ft. Lewis Ranger! We’re in it baby!

I am still around, but just crazier than normal. I am not sure if or when things will ever slow down, but please know I haven’t forgotten about this blog… it’s actually getting more attention from me these days then my own personal blog! That says a bunch.

OK, I have spent many early mornings, many late nights, and many long Saturdays waiting for my husband to finish up work he does for his hobby — or really what’s becoming his “second job.” He works in the chemical industry by day, but in the off hours he turns into Delta Bravo Sierra — the furious military cartoon scribbler.

When my husband first came home from Ft. Benning he had a lot of stories he wanted to share. With a background in fine art and a love for the military, I wanted to support him in whatever direction he decided to go. He was pondering one day about sketching on a stylus that would put his drawings right into the computer. So, one day I was looking around at our local electronics store and picked up his first electronic pad and pen. He hasn’t been the same since.

Since he started drawing his military cartoon he has been contacted by deployed, retired, active service members, and military families. They have submitted stories and he has drawn them up! When a deployed soldier submits a story he/she also gets a free print of the cartoon they inspired, autographed and sent to the address of their choosing. It has been an incredible blessing for both of us to hear the stories of deployed service members.

He is even on Private Murphy’s Law this week as the featured cartoon!
This past Thursday my husband’s military cartoon (miltoon) was published in print for the first time! He will now be featured weekly in the paper serving Fort Lewis Army Base, McChord Air Force Base, Madigan Army Medical Center and Camp Murray – ”The Ft. Lewis Ranger.“

This is the ‘toon’ that was the first one in the paper (click HERE to see full size version)

Spouse and Family Blog

Allmilitary.com has a spouse and family blog, and that is where I have been busy this summer. I love posting here too, but I have been neglectful the past couple of months. I thought what I would do is copy over some links and ask you kind folks to please come over to the spouse and family section and let’s chat! Here are some of the topics I have been writing about:

Military Wife Upset Over Obama Speech in Cairo

Post 9/11 GI Bill Guide

Making Leave Time Count

Shades of Green – A Vacation Spot for Military Families

Tricare

AllMilitary.com’s Very Own Ruth

Back in May, I had the pleasure of interviewing Ruth. Ruth is a recent recipient of President Bush’s Volunteer Service Award. She is a life long volunteer and troop supporter extraordinaire. In the interview linked above, Ruth shares her memories of being a little girl during World War II, and watching the changes in culture through the years.

Ruth’s love for our soldiers is contagious and inspiring.

Ruth received her service award in a ceremony where she had asked some Vietnam Vetearns to participate. Below is an excerpt of her award ceremony and some pictures:

Local volunteer honored
By Dustin Pangonis
Monday, June 22, 2009 9:27 AM

EDTSCHUYLKILL HAVEN — When Ruth Ray, 71, of Port Carbon, was given the President’s Volunteer Service Award on Sunday, she held it for just a few seconds before changing the focus and presenting a gift of her own.

“Thank you for serving, Vietnam vets,” Ray said as she handed a statuette of an American flag and a bald eagle to the Veterans of the Vietnam War Post 29.

Ray, whose history of volunteer work on behalf of U.S. troops stretches back to World War II, was honored in a short ceremony at the Schuylkill County Vietnam Veterans Memorial.

She said her first priority, even when accepting the award, was to thank the troops. Her second priority: to spread the message of volunteerism.

Most recently, Ray has been sending small care packages to soldiers. She gave a “shout-out” to the Pottsville and Port Carbon post offices, which must fill out five pages of customs paperwork for each package.

David Fessler, of both the Veterans and the Schuylkill County Veterans Affairs Office, presented Ray with the award, which is given through the President’s Council on Service and Civic Participation established by President George W. Bush.

“One of the reasons we’re having it at the Vietnam Memorial is because this leads to what we’ve been saying all along,” Fessler said. “We’re not going to let the troops go through what we did. We’re going to take care of them.”  LINK to entire story

Here are a few pictures:

Ruth with her family

Ruth Honored

Ruth with Veterans

A picture’s worth

smallimgjimYou need to know Jim Spiri. Jim is a combat photographer but he is not a member of the media elite. The elite offer us sympathy to sell ad space. Jim offers us empathy to soothe the soul. The difference is more than faint. Read on.

The old adage goes “a picture is worth a thousand words.” It’s a great parallelism that illuminates two things: 1) A picture can tell the content of a story faster and more complete sometimes than a thousand words crafted by even a gifted writer, and 2) A picture can evoke an emotion (affect) that a writer may have to write a thousand words to evoke (and may still not fully capture).

I find this angle to picture taking interesting since the parallelism is drawing on two components of communication — content and affect. In my past-life I had to study many models of human behavior and relationships. When you study to be a therapist (or really even study to decide if you will become a therapist) you have to learn many angles of effective communication. My favorite model for therapeutic communication has been the Empathy Scale model by Carkuff and Truax. This model is complimentary to and part of the neo-Freudian movement and transanalytical therapeutic models.

Now, before you go ‘huh?’ and decide to not read any further, let me explain. This is going somewhere — it’s leading us to combat footage, trust me.

The Empathy Scale is based on the fact that little can ever be achieved in analytical therapy without a trusting relationship between client and therapist, and without the therapist knowing how to listen and knowing how to offer feedback that is empathetic. People get enough sympathy in this world. Everyone feels sorry for someone at one point or another. Sympathy is often expressed as a form of pity. It is sometimes necessary to feel, but it is not sufficient to truly comfort a burdened heart.

While sympathy is sometimes necessary, any therapist worth her weight in salt will tell you that people don’t want someone to feel something “for” them. What we all crave and want is empathy. Empathy provides our human souls a richer and more personal connection with others. You can have sympathy for someone and never really understand (or try to for that matter) what they are really feeling or going through. When you have empathy for another person you understand both the content of what they are telling you, and you feel on a personal level the emotion they are communicating. You do not feel for the person, but rather you feel with the person. You don’t walk a mile in their shoes, but rather you walk a mile hand in hand with them. When you have experienced empathy you know immediately the difference between that and when someone feels sympathy for you. The two are very distinguishable.

Even though professionally I went on to do non-profit administration and social research, I had to spend some time in the therapeutic trenches. It is the nature of the social work profession for its members to experience direct client work for at least a season.

One of the most beautiful moments as a therapist is when you have a client who has shared a very painful and lonely experience, and at some point through the course of therapy you (the therapist) finally understand what she is feeling. When you communicate your insight to her you see her face light up like you’ve never seen before. Suddenly she knows she is no longer alone on her journey. This is often when healing begins.

Empathy is hard for the giver. It forces you to let your guard down, and it forces you to embrace a level of vulnerability. As humans we naturally brace against such feelings — not embrace them. It is not easy walking toward a black storm of pain, and voluntarily walking right in and experiencing the storm with another. It does take a form of courage.

I have prefaced the following with all of that so that I could make a point about the work of Jim Spiri. His work is a labor of love and a beautiful act of empathy for parents and loved ones of deployed soldiers. His pictures are worth a thousand words – actually his pictures are worth much more than that.

Being a Blue Star mom and knowing many Blue Star families, I can testify that when your son or daughter enters the battlefield you are taken from the ranks of the “normal” experiences of parenthood. You are thrust into a world that your non-Blue Star friends have a very hard time relating to. Actually you are thrust into a world that they sometimes abhor. You are suddenly the reminder to them of the evil that lurks in the streets of Baghdad. You are the reminder that if your soldier was not there defending this Country voluntarily, then their son or daughter may have been forced to go.

More than once I have been engaged in a conversation with friends who ‘accidentally’ have said something like “Well it’s better that Johnny works at the gym since he doesn’t want to go to college. At least he’s not being sent to Iraq!” The couple of times this sentiment has slipped out they suddenly look at me, red faced, and I get ‘the look.’ You know what I’m talking about. The look that says “You poor dear! You poor woman!”

Sympathy sucks. I don’t want their sympathy. I want them to know that although I am scared when my son deploys, that I am so intensely proud of him at the same time. I am not pitiful. I am painfully proud! They don’t get it, and I guess maybe I should pity them in return for not understanding — more so for their not wanting to understand.

I had to endure months of photographs from our mainstream media showing me the daily goings on at Berkeley. Our brave Marines were harassed constantly by Code Pink. I am sick and tired of the pandering the MSM does for the antiwar crowd, and then once in a great while we, the Blue Star families are thrown an occasional bone. Typically the only time I see something in the MSM about either war zone is when they are gleefully reporting a set back. I have watched the patterns of their reporting for more than 2-solid years now, and they have made their intentions on reporting this war very clear.

Jim Spiri is a combat photographer. His intentions are also very clear. Jim and his wife Candi, have buried one of their sons, a Marine Officer. Their youngest son serves in the Army as a combat helicopter pilot on his 5th deployment. The Spiris know exactly what I mean when I say that I am painfully proud of my own son. Jim and Candi have comforted our wounded soldiers while they helped load those soldiers for transport from Balad in the early days of the war. The Spiris have stood in the dust of history where our sons and daughters stand. They have stood in the gap between our sons and daughters in harms way, and the fires burning on the home front.

Jim is a combat photographer with some very rich experiences that afforded him the privilege and opportunity to walk the streets of places like Fallujah and Mosul. Jim has stood at the front lines with our Marines and Soldiers. He is a combat photographer veteran. He has served in the silent ranks as a proud father, a proud American and a man who held an instrument of empathy.

Jim has sent his pictures back to the US to other painfully proud parents. He told me that he has sent these pictures back home proudly proclaiming to anxious parents “Look at what your son is doing! Look what he did on this day!” Jim’s message is plain and simple — he has a love for America’s sons and daughters, and for their families. He is not a therapist, so he offers another very powerful tool of communicating his empathy. He offers heartfelt photographs of our sons and daughters doing their jobs. The jobs that put them at risk for losing their health, well being, and sometimes their very lives.

Jim wants to go back to the middle east. He wants to photograph our bravest and finest in Afghanistan. I want to help him do that. I would love for the parents of young, brave men and women in that combat zone see pictures of their children defending this Country against the tyranny of Islamic terrorists. The sons and daughters of military parents, have surpassed us in life experiences and we know it. We simply want to see them doing their jobs so we can proudly show those around us that we don’t need their pity.

We are not pitiful.

My husband, a dear Marine friend of ours, and myself are committed to supporting Jim’s trip.

Stay tuned to my entries here to see how you can participate.

My husband will be offering an original piece of art work for auction. The landscape will be an original painting done from one of Jim’s photographs off the Iraq battlefield.

I will also have Jim’s contact information below so that donations can be sent to Jim directly to help fund this trip. Jim acts as an independent agent. If he didn’t then he would have to have an angle outside of simply wanting to share those priceless pictures of our sons and daughters with their families.

Here’s one link to some of Jim’s work: http://blogs.phillynews.com/philly/spiri/

Additionally, Jim can be contacted at jimspiri@yahoo.com

We will keep up a continuing series on how Jim is doing and how he is advancing toward his goal. If you are interested in sponsoring Jim and his trip to Afghanistan, please contact him directly or contact me here at Allmilitary and I will get the message to him.

Thank you!