Military Humor
Military Jokes
Pages of military jokes submitted by AllMilitary members. Submit a joke with a military theme. If Joe likes your joke, he'll post it here.
Page: 29
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Barracks Doors are Open
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.
He decides to play into her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?"
The woman responded by saying " no, all I saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle bags"
It was so Cold ...
A marine, a sailor and a soldier were talking about how cold it was. The marine said it was so cold in Korea that once his boots froze to the snow, and he couldn't move at all.
The sailor said it was so cold in Greenland that once when he went to take a leak, it froze as it came out leaving a yellow rainbow.
The soldier said that when he was in basic it was real cold, and once when he went to walk back to the barracks he felt something roll down his leg. He picked it up and took it into the barracks. He sat it on his foot locker, and in a little while he heard a noise coming from it—Brrurp. (Just a little fart).
Submitted by gumpa_38.
True Story
This is a true story and it seems to bring lots of laughs at the VA Medical Clinic in Austin, TX.
My husband was talking to another AF Vet who mentioned how better AF had had things. My husband said, "Oh, I don't know any of that. Actually, I married my old Army Buddy." After the man left, my husband turned to me and said, "Honey, you think I should have told him you were an Army medic?"
Submitted by Morning165.
The Head
A naval command instructor was indoctrinating his new naval command recruits.
He said, "You are all in the Navy now and in the US Navy we have our own language. For instance, in the Navy we don't call it a bathroom; we don't call it a toilet; we don't call it a latrine."
A young Naval Command recruit raised his hand and asked, "What do you call it?"
"Son, we call it a 'head'. Now tell me son, what is the difference between a 'head' and a 'hole in the ground'?"
The naval recruit said, "Well, I don't know."
The naval command Instructor said, "Son, how do you expect to command a US Naval ship if you don't know your head from a hole in the ground?"
Submitted by juzwant2play
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