Military Humor

Military Jokes

Pages of military jokes submitted by AllMilitary members. Submit a joke with a military theme. If Joe likes your joke, he'll post it here. 

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Body Doubles

Last summer an Iraqi general summoned Saddam's 48 body doubles to a safe house in Iraq.

"I have good news and I have bad news" he told the doubles. "The good news is, Saddam is alive!"

Everybody in the room gave a big cheer, "Saddam!" "Saddam!" "Saddam!" "Saddam!"

The Iraqi general then turned to the doubles and said, "The bad news is, he's lost an arm."

Submitted by lapsleyt.

Dear John Letter

The soldier serving overseas, far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.

He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying........... "Regret cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."

Submitted by dinak67

Saving Gasoline

George Carlin's Solution to Save Gasoline

Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas we use..... The best way to stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants!

That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down.....

Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the Border....

When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq ...

Tell him if he wants to come to America then he must serve a tour in the military.....

Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it.....

After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country......

He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal patriot......

This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves......

If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo.....

Problem solved.....

Submitted by Revrac66

Light Bulb

Question

How many 88 Mikes does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer

None. That's 2nd  echelon maintenance. Call a mechanic.

Submitted by intherearwiththegear.