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Several years ago my middle son was diagnosed with some very rare endocrine disorders. His diagnosis has led me all over the Southeast in search of the best medical care possible for him. Our search has led us to the places like Duke University, Chapel Hill, University of Virginia and finally to the National Institutes of Health. It’s been a journey to say the least, but one filled with many life lessons that transfer to other situations.

When Noah was at Duke they began to call him their “little Fascinoma” which is a term used for patients who have rare disorders and rare presentations of symptoms. Another term for “fascinoma” in the medical world is “zebra.” The term comes from the old aphorism “When you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras!” It’s a reminder to look for the obvious before assuming the rare or the exotic.

I have had to integrate this little nugget of wisdom into my daily thinking as an Army wife and mom. I have to admit that my first inclination is to assume than any sound of hoofbeats are either zebras or the four Apocalyptic riders coming to tell me something awful and life altering has happened.

During deployments it seems that every “hoofbeat” of life like an unexpected call, a car turning around in my driveway, or a knock at my door, produces an immediate suspicion that something horrible has happened.

I am slowly learning to take a deep breath and remind myself that although it is not impossible for a zebra to appear, it is unlikely. Most of these occurrences that leave me weak at the knees are nothing more than normal daily things that happen to everyone. The shadow of war is what causes them to feel so threatening.

So, when the phone rings at an unexpected time or an unknown car pulls into my driveway, I will take a deep breath and remind myself that it is more than likely a horse and not a zebra. The next time my knees get weak I can remind myself to look for the obvious and the reasonable, and to stop dwelling on the less likely outcome.