Wounded Heroes

Being Your Husband's Primary Caregiver

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Being your husband's primary caregiver can seem like a daunting task, but it doesn't have to be. Use our guide to make your care giving experience as painless as possible.

• Figure out your finances.

  If your husband was discharged from the military because of his injury, you will need to re-evaluate your financial situation in light of the lost income. Total up all your monthly income (pensions, social security benefits, disability benefits, your income, child support payments, etc.) and budget according to the new figure. On top of your normal bills, you may have added medical expenses to compensate for.

• Find out what resources are available to you.

  You are not alone in your care giving tasks. According to the National Alliance for Caregivers, over 44.4 million people in the United States give unpaid care to an adult friend or family member. The VA, TRICARE and local health care agencies offer free or reduced care and resources to wounded and disabled veterans:

  • TRICARE Service Centers
  • Department of Veterans Affairs
  
  

  You will also need to consider financing options for any home modifications you need to make. There are non-profit organizations that will donate new handicap accessible housing or finance the adaptation of existing homes for needy veterans.

  • Homes for Our Troops

    Homes for Our Troops was founded in 2004 with the goal of building or adapting homes for veterans who were severely disabled in combat. All services provided by the organization are free to the veteran.

  • Project H.E.R.O

    Project H.E.R.O. (Homes Eliminated of Restrictions and Obstacles) is an organization that modifies low-income veterans' existing homes to help them live more independently.

  • The VA Specially Adapted Housing Program

    The VA offers housing grants of up $50,000 to buy a new or adapt an existing home to meet the needs of a disabled veteran. For more information and to apply, visit the VA's Home Loan Guaranty Service—Specially Adapted Housing Grant.

• Learn as much as you can about your husband's condition and how to properly care for him.

  Research the medication your husband is taking, the equipment he will need and types of care techniques that can be used. The Red Cross offers classes to help you learn proper care techniques. Contact your local Red Cross office for more information. Offices can be found online with the American Red Cross Web Site Locater.

  There are several books and other publications that can help manage your care giving tasks:

  • Helping Yourself Help Others: A Book for Caregivers / Rosalynn Carter with Susan K. Golant. New York: Times Books, 1994.
  • Preventing Caregiver Burnout / James R. Sherman. Golden Valley, MN: Pathway Books, 1994.
  • The American Medical Association Guide to Homecare Giving / Angela Perry, medical editor. New York: J. Wiley & Sons, 2001.
  • The Comfort of Home: An Illustrated Step-by-Step Guide for Caregivers / Maria N. Meyer with Paula Derr; foreword by Mark O. Hatfield. 2nd ed. Portland, OR: CareTrust Publications LLC, 2002.
  
  

• Talk to your husband about his wishes.

  Ask your husband about his needs and expectations of a caregiver. Does he want an informal or formal provider? If his condition were to become terminal, where does he want to die? How does he want his funeral conducted? These questions are tough, but must be answered.

• Keep track of your husband's medical records.

  Maintain lists of the medications your husband is taking, his doctors, and general medical history.

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